The Kindness of a Stranger

I made it through my first pitch session yesterday, and the editor encouraged me to send my book to them . . . when I have the latest revision finished.  I made a couple of mistakes in my presentation that I hopefully won't repeat next time I pitch to an editor or agent, but overall I felt I did pretty well, all things considered.

I spent all day yesterday at the LTUE conference.  It was a really good experience.  I learned a lot from all the classes I attended, but far and away the best class was called Drawing Out the Dragons by James Owen.  He is a gifted writer and illustrator/artist. 

His class encouraged the audience members to make wise decisions.  He started out with the saying: "If you really, really want to do something, no one can stop you.  If you really don't want to do something, no one can help you.  The choice is always yours." He had several other very wise sayings.  Then he talked about some personal experiences that illustrated his points.  His experiences really touched me, because there were a couple of times when life handed him a really difficult challenge, and he overcame them and went on to do what he loves.

After the class, I found the bookseller shop and purchased the book that goes along with his class.  A little while later, I found Mr. Owen to ask him to sign it.  I don't usually tell people I've gone through cancer, but I felt comfortable enough--given his own experiences--to tell him.  I'm glad that I did.  I felt such an outpouring of love and support from him!

He told me that he has a dear friend going through the same thing I'm going through.  He dies his hair purple in support of her and others who are facing a difficult challenge like that.  (Yes, his hair was purple!)  Then he signed my book in purple ink.  (That was a happy accident that I pointed out to him.)  Finally, he gave me a hug.  I'm normally not a very demonstrative person, and I think people are often afraid to hug me because of that, but I still need hugs.  When he did that, I was touched  deeply.  Later, I realized that it was a very Christ-like act.  I will always remember the kindness James Owen showed for a complete stranger who needed it.  He told me, "You are strong enough to do this!"

Mr. Owen has created a new fan in me.  I didn't know anything about his books before, but I definitely plan to get into them now!  I hope that someday I can influence people for good the way Mr. Owen influenced me.  Really, that's what Christ wants us to do: to love and support each other on this journey of life.

Picking Up Where I Left Off

I told you so!  When I'm not sitting around languishing from chemo or surgery all the time, I don't get around to blogging like I should.  Sorry if you've been waiting anxiously for news. ;-)

I have only 2 herceptin (mild chemo) treatments left, then I'm really done with chemo and all things resembling it.  (Hurray!)  I guess you could say I will soon be liberated from the Borg (see some of my earliest posts).  My most recent treatment was last Monday.  It went well.  I haven't had any problems with my port for awhile, so that's a blessing.

On Thursday, I started working for Steve as his secretary and office manager.  It was different, going to a real job outside my home, but I found to my surprise that I enjoyed it.  I like getting things done for him so that he can work more efficiently.

Yesterday, we finished our bedroom remodeling project.  We have yet to move several pieces of furniture and sundry belongings, but the girls slept in their own rooms last night.  I think everybody is happy with the new arrangement!

Here, the walls are going up.  You can see the completed mermaid in the background.

Really jazzed about the hot pink in her new room!  OK.  She's hamming it up . . . just a little.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I did the dolphins, but she painted the coral and several of the fish herself.

For the last month (since my last post, in fact), I've been rewriting my novel.  I guess being away from it for nearly a year helped me see some of the flaws more clearly, and I decided I'd better fix them.  There were some big issues (like going from first person point of view to third), so it required a complete rewrite.  I got the first draft finished last week, and now I'm polishing it up.  I gave myself a deadline by signing up to pitch the book to an editor from Shadow Mountain at a conference this coming weekend.  The rewrite won't be finished, but I hope I'll at least have the first 3 chapters polished to show off.

Sometimes I wonder if I've gone crazy, diving into a pitch like this when the book is in the middle of a rewrite--but I think I just really needed to pick up my life where I left off, one year ago.  The conference I will attend (Life, the Universe, and Everything) is the same conference I went to last year the very weekend I found a lump in my breast that turned out to be cancer.  In a sense, I've lost a year of my life, at least as far as progressing in my career goes.

However--as my mother-in-law pointed out to me recently--a year is really not that much, in the grand scheme of things.  Besides that, I've progressed in so many other ways.  I feel like I'm a much better person for the experiences I've had this year.  I know I'm a stronger person.  Pitching to an editor terrifies me as much as it did before cancer, but I have the scars to prove that I can do tough things.

(Not that this editor is tough: I've heard that she is kind and easy to talk to.  In spite of jitters, I'm looking forward to meeting her because I'm a fan of not only all the books she's edited, but also those she wrote herself.  So, there will be just a touch of hero-worship in there.  ;-)

Shameless plug: This is a great read for those who like time travel romance!

Catching Up

I see it's been awhile since I've written a post.  I have a perfectly wonderful explanation for this: life has been normal for a month or so since I finished radiation.  "Normal" means my days are a whirlwind of activity, but it's so nice not to stress over cancer every minute of the day anymore.  I'm truly coming to the end of the tunnel, and the light gets brighter every day.

I enjoyed each minute of this holiday season: 

Our sweet Nativity, with baby cousin as Jesus.

Steve playing his traditional organ hymns.

Breaking out the pinata!

Some of my favorite gifts: The Piano Guys CD (I love them!) and a pizza peel.

Ringing in the New Year in style!

I sang a duet this year in church with my husband (who was insecure about it, but did an awesome job!).  It's been a long time since I've performed.  The emotional turmoil of cancer took its toll on my voice, so it felt really great to be able to sing again.  Afterward, someone mentioned how glad they were that I was there to perform.  I think they meant they were glad I wasn't up north, but when they said that, I realized what a blessing it was for me to be here, on this earth, to share my talents.  All throughout the day, I kept reminding myself how grateful I was to be alive and with my family this Christmas.

On Christmas day, I stopped wearing hats.  It was difficult at first (sometimes it still is), but my hair keeps growing!  What a wonder: to have hair!  I even tried to dye it.  I went for a carroty-red at first that I just couldn't get used to, so after a couple of days I dyed it again, this time a brown that now looks like a dark auburn. 

When I moved home after radiation, I grabbed my life back with gusto.  I've been attending a Zumba class about twice a week in a determined effort to make my future health a top priority.  (Although, I have to watch out for those big hip swings.  My old joints can't handle them. LOL!)


I took up a challenge to paint an underwater mural in one of my daughter's bedrooms.  We're dividing the erstwhile "playroom" into two rooms so the older girls can have their own space.  I was a little insecure about painting the mural, but I love to try new art expression, so I "dived" in (ha ha!).  So far, it's turned out better than I expected, and I've been pleased with my effort.  The only thing I don't like is how long it is taking to finish.

Starting out.  Notice how boring and plain the walls are.  Time to spruce it up!

It was tricky to blend the colors together to look like an ocean.  I'm so glad I discovered glaze!

Mermaid half finished.  I guess since I went without hair so long, I have to give my creations wild crazy hair!

In February, I will start my first job outside my home in almost twenty years.  My husband needed a receptionist/secretary for tax season, and I volunteered.  Hopefully, I can help this tax season go a little smoother for him than last year's--when I was diagnosed right as he was starting his first tax season as an independent CPA.  I think Steve was the one losing hair last year as he tried to juggle all the chemo treatments with tax clients.  He's really a trooper!

I have just begun to pick up my pen and paper again to try and get some writing done.  When I was first diagnosed, I thought I would have oodles of time to write, but the emotional roller coaster of cancer effectively cut off my creative brain as well as my voice.  I haven't made much progress on my trilogy this year, but I hope that the creative juices will soon begin to flow again and I can get something accomplished toward my goal of becoming a published author.

So, things are going well.  Forgive me if I don't write as often as I have in the past.  I don't sit in my chair with exhaustion much anymore, or spend my days twiddling my thumbs waiting to recover from surgery (that will come in late April).  I'm so grateful that I can get up and move around and take care of my family again!  I didn't realize before what a blessing that is.

Someone recently shared a quote with me from Elder Holland who comforted a woman scarred by fire:  "We look for Christ's scars because they are evidence of what He did for us," Elder Holland said. "Your scars tell a story, too.  Although they may not make you feel attractive, they are a witness of a miracle, that God blessed you to live, and that you have accomplished very difficult things."

That quote touches my heart every time I read it.  I have scars from this struggle, inside and out, and they will never go away.  But they are also a reminder of all the Lord has done for me this year, to help me get through this and to allow me to stay here on earth with my friends and family a little while longer.

Home at Last!

A holiday visit to Temple Square.

When I walked out of radiation therapy a week ago with a graduation certificate in hand, I started to cry.  I had such a feeling of freedom!  I was able to go home at last to be with my family.

I felt like Santa driving his sleigh, as I headed home with Jessica.  The van was bulging at the seams with all the Christmas goodies I bought during my stay in the big city.  Steve joked that I had nothing to do up there but shop--in stores and online.  He said packages kept arriving from Amazon, even though he hadn't bought a single thing.  What can I say?  If I can't be with my family, at least I can buy presents for them. :-)

When I got home, I was welcomed with a big sign on the door, and balloons and flowers.  It was so wonderful!  Steve even had a fancy dinner all prepared, and the kids had cleaned the house and decorated for Christmas.  It was all so beautiful and wonderful.  Of course, I had to cry a little again.

With radiation behind me, I was eager to get started on my plan to get my body into better physical shape.  I signed myself and the older girls up for a membership at our local fitness center, and I attended my first Zumba class on Monday with Katie.  It was super fun!  I felt like quite the fitness guru, as long as I didn't look in the mirror. ;-)

Unfortunately, the next couple of days I could hardly walk. I made a trip to the doctor for an x-ray of my pelvis and got a brief scare when the possibility of cancer came up.  But, I'm happy and relieved to report that it turned out to be merely a "degenerative" injury.  In other words, I'm getting old and I'm not nearly as flexible as I was when I was dancing so much in high school and college.  Now, the trick is remembering that.

Secret Santa

I have a little bit of home here with me this week, in the form of my youngest daughter.  It's been fun having her with me.  I have somebody to take care of again. :)

Last night, I took her to Ihop to have breakfast for dinner.  Jess had pancakes, while I had my favorite stuffed french toast with blueberries.  When it was time for the waitress to give us our check, she was interrupted by someone signaling her elsewhere.  I didn't think anything of it until she came back a little while later and told us that an anonymous friend had payed for our meal.  I was stunned.  Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. 

I peered unobtrusively around the restaurant, trying to figure out who it was, but no one gave a clue.  What a kind, generous act!  I was deeply touched.  My only regret was that I could not thank them.

My family and I have been the recipients of many kind and generous acts during this last year.  They have brightened my day and lightened my load.  It's not so hard to go through cancer treatments with such generous friends and family to help you out.  So, thank you to everyone who has served us and continues to help us.  I hope someday I will be able to repay the favor, or at least to pass on this legacy of service to someone else in need.

Old Saint Nick

"Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way . . .

Don't you tell a single soul what I'm going to say!

Christmas Eve is coming soon, now you dear old man,

Whisper what you'll bring to me: tell me if you can!"

We had a great time visiting Santa, an awesome toy store, and playing in the rain yesterday!

Gumdrop Christmas tree

Giving Thanks

My carpet of fuzzy grey hair.

On Thanksgiving Day this year, I got the brilliant idea to have the kids make a count-down chain for Christmas with everyone in our family writing something on a link that they're thankful for.  However, I forgot to add one item I'm thankful for: hair!  It's growing back, and I am so thankful!  Maybe by Christmas, I'll dare to walk around without a hat.

There are many more serious things for me to be thankful for this year, not the least of which is the treatments that have allowed me to remain on earth with my family a little longer.  My kids have been incredible, the way they've held up throughout this whole ordeal.  My husband has been absolutely amazing, juggling family and work, especially when I'm not there.  My in-laws are fantastic, taking care of my kids when I can't.  I'm especially grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, which makes it possible for me to be with my family forever.

Some "city fun" at Fat Cats.

As my family prepared to drive back home this weekend, everybody was loaded in the car except Megan.  I went in search of her and found her crying in the basement, sure she'd been left behind.  I told her that her family would never desert her.  Even if somehow they did, she would get to stay with me all week long.  That cheered her up, and she happily climbed into the truck.

It's tough to watch your family drive away without you.  It made me think how very important it is for me to live my life in a righteous way so that I can be with them for all eternity.  I don't want any of us to get permanently left behind.  I'm so glad that I only have to wait 5 days before I get to see them all again.

I've been living "up north" now for a couple of weeks.  It's fun, but much more quiet (and lonelier) than I'm used to.  It hasn't been quiet this week, however, with the Thanksgiving holiday and all my family around me the entire week.

Steve carved up the turkey.

Rachel organized the kids for an awesome Thanksgiving theatrical debut.

Aunt Nellie is always a big hit with the kids.  She was the life of the party with her marshmallows and hot chocolate.

Rachel obediently made signs for the various dishes (this one is stuffing) . . . doing it HER way, of course.

Steve and I were in charge of pies this year.  They were yummy--even if I do say so myself.

My radiation treatments are going very well.  I can't feel a thing when I get a treatment: I just have to take the technician's word for it that the buzzing noise means I'm getting radiated.  So far, I haven't had any side effects, either.  Every other time I go, they drape a fancy sparkling cloth over me so that the machine will deliver the radiation closer to the skin surface.  I told them I feel like a knight in shining armor when I get to wear my "mithril" mail (for Hobbit fans).

I'll be in residence here for about 2 more weeks, until December 7th (at which time I will beat a hasty retreat for home).  Until then, I sing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" in my heart.

We got in a round of black-light mini-golf.  One of my favorite activities!

Fighting off a ferocious dinosaur.

Man-eating whale on the loose!

The adults all got wooped by my "baby" sister--who toted her year-old baby on her back the whole time!