BANG! BIFF! KA-POW!

Beating Up Cancer

Overheard at chemo treatments the other day: a man telling (presumably) his wife something like: "I'm not going to worry about a few extra calories when I have CANCER!"

You just can't help but smile at the good attitude most people have at the Huntsman Hospital.  That place is so full of good cheer and hope.  If I have to go through this, I'm glad I can go through it there (even if I do have to drive 10 hours a week just to get there and back).

Gratitude

For those who haven't gone through chemo treatments, it conjures up images of hanging over the toilet and constantly lying in bed.  I know I thought that's what it would be like, before I was diagnosed.  But I have discovered that I am not, in fact, on death's doorstep.  Now that things have settled into a routine, and the shock is starting to wear off, life continues pretty much as normal (except for having to take a nap every day and traveling up north each week).  I can still handle laundry, meals, and even cleaning the house most of the time.  I feel really blessed, because I know that isn't the case with everyone who goes through cancer treatments.

Last night, I read through the blog of a woman who went through breast cancer just 2 years ago.  She had to endure a lot of difficulty with her chemo treatments: pain, and extreme fatigue, among other things.  I realized how easy I've got it.  There's no room for me to complain.  I don't know why I have less to endure than others--probably because I'm not as strong as they are, and I would break under the pressure--but I'm so glad the Lord has made my burden light.

Of course, that doesn't mean things won't get harder as we continue the fight against cancer.  (I am definitely NOT looking forward to surgery, but I just put it on the back burner of my mind and focus on the here and now.)  I'm grateful for the things I can still do.  I'm grateful to be with my kids as much as possible.  I'm grateful for the family members who've done so much to help and support us at this time, and for all the friends who have brought meals and been concerned for us.  It really helps, knowing that we are in so many prayers.  And those prayers are being answered!

Another One Down

My treatment yesterday went well.  I agreed to participate in a genetics study, so they drew some extra blood for that, but I seemed to handle it well.  My nurse didn't give me the Benadryl until half way through the treatment, so I got to be alert and awake longer than usual! 

Today, I've noticed my hair is falling out in greater quantities.  It won't be long now!  Other than that, things are pretty much the same as they always are the day after treatments: I can't eat much (my personal weight loss system), and I'm a little tired, but a nap helped.  Keep moving forward, right?

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I first noticed my hair falling out on my birthday.  (Talk about feeling old!)  I was sitting in my "special chair" for a chemo treatment.  Just waking from a nap, I noticed a pile of dark hair on the blanket.  I thought maybe the nurse had given me a dirty blanket.  I joked with Steve that it wasn't mine because it wasn't grey.

But later, during the treatment, I pulled out my headphones to talk to the nurse, and a handful of hairs came with it!  It was the beginning of the end.

I haven't cut my hair since I was diagnosed, and it was getting relatively long.  I'm not too keen on messy hair everywhere, so I decided: Why prolong the inevitable?

On Wednesday night, I told my four girls they could each have a turn to play the "haircut lady" with a section of my hair.  Boy, did they have fun!  My four-year-old cut very carefully in small snips, leaving most of the length.  My eleven-year-old snipped as close to my head as she could.  Fortunately, nobody trimmed my ears.  In the end, my new "do" was impressive, but I let Steve finish the job with a buzz.  (I wasn't brave enough to shave it all off, yet.)

So, now I wear something on my head all the time.  It's been a little chilly, not having that hairy insulation on top, especially since the spring weather took a turn toward snow and cold this week.  I've packed a handful of hats and scarves for my next treatment in a couple of days.  Now, I really feel like a true-blue member of the chemo club!

In Your Easter Bonnet

Last weekend, my family surprised me with an awesome hat party--just in time for Easter and my birthday.  My 9 year old got the idea from the book Our Mom Has Cancer and my mother-in-law helped the kids plan it.  They did a fantastic job!

There were probably 14 ladies and girls there, all family.  They yelled "Surprise!" as I came in.  I had to fight off the tears.  Everyone wore a hat except me, but that was soon remedied.  It was a little strange for me, being the center of attention.  I usually like to fade into the background in a crowd. 

We played "Musical Hats" and "Toss Your Hat Onto the Ring."  For refreshments, we had fresh fruit kabobs and a beautiful hat cake my kids made and decorated.  I was so impressed with all the work my kids did to make the party a success!  And I was grateful to my mother-in-law for spearheading the project and putting so much work into it herself on a weekend that was full of lots of other activities for her.

I received 12 hats at the party.  It was so great to have so many of my family there!  My mother and sister drove about 5 hours just to attend.  Everyone has been so kind to me as I go through this experience!  I can never express how grateful I am for the services and kindnesses that have been shown to me and my family so far.

My hat party came none too soon, as I discovered just 2 days later that my hair was starting to fall out.  But thanks to the party, I don't feel so bad about it.  I'm actually excited to start wearing hats and scarves this week.  I wore my first hat on Sunday for Easter.  It matched my dress perfectly.  I think I was the only person wearing a hat in the whole congregation, but I didn't mind.  Someone commented I looked like British royalty in my Easter Bonnet.  I felt very bright and full of spring.  It was a good feeling.