Making Up for Lost Hair

I haven't written about hair for awhile, so I figured it was high time I again touched on this important side effect ;-), especially since I've recently experienced a change.

My hair didn't stand a chance against the big guns.  While I was on abraxane, it never really stopped growing.  I had to shave my head every couple of weeks or so.  No longer. (pun intended)  In fact, recently, my eyebrows and eyelashes have all fallen out.  This gives me that "chemo eyes" look everyone associates with cancer.  I have an even harder time looking at myself in the mirror these days.

To combat the mirror blues, I decided I'd better start wearing makeup every day, even when I don't expect anyone outside my family to see me.  Drawing eyebrows on is something I've never had to do before.  It is a tricky business.  Sometimes I look like a lopsided Groucho Marx.  But maybe I'll get the hang of it by the time my eyebrows begin to grow back in a couple of months.

I also tried fake eyelashes without much success.  I never could get them to glue on right so they weren't poking me in the eye.  So, I finally settled for painting a dark line on the lid with eyeliner and calling it good.  Steve said he can't tell I don't have lashes unless he looks at me from the side.  So, as long as I make an effort to face people head-on, they won't notice, right?

I guess the long and short of it is: I just need to stop worrying so much about how I look, and enjoy life.  I'm in the good part of my cycle now, so I'm doing more and getting out more often.  That's a real morale-booster.  It's also nice to be able to take back some of my responsibilities around the house, like fixing meals and doing laundry.  (Gasp!)  I never thought I'd say that about household chores!

My Rockin' Road Trip

When I first asked my sister if I could join her cross-country road trip, I wondered if I'd lost what little chemo left me of my brain.  After all, a cancer patient making a long road trip to Indiana then flying home on a germ-infested plane seemed a little crazy to me, especially in the week and a half following my first FEC treatment (aka: the big guns).

Miraculously, most of my symptoms cleared up a couple of days before the scheduled trip, and my spirits lifted into the stratosphere.  I was really happy and excited to be going.  So, on Friday June 29th, I met up with my sister Janelle and we headed for our first stop in Denver, Colorado.

A monkey friend I discovered at a Truck Stop playground.

Janelle had a portable GPS because neither of us is stellar with directions, and I'm about the worst navigator in the world.  But we ran into problems getting it to work.  Fortunately, the way was pretty straightforward at first.

The first couple of days we simply drove most of each day (and talked each other's ears off!).  We stayed at a little hotel in Denver the first night, then spent the second night with my brother-in-law and his family in Kansas City.  They were very gracious and welcoming, even though we got in rather late.  We missed an exit, so I had to call "Steve the GPS" to guide us back to where we needed to be.

What a gorgeous family they are!

After that, my brother-in-law fixed the problem we were having with our GPS so we were able to use it.  We christened it "Debbie."  Sometimes Debbie let us down (like when we tried to program in a Chuck-E-Cheese Debbie said was close by, but then she changed her story when we got on the road and said it was really more than 25 miles away!).  But most of the time Debbie diligently led us to our destination and helped us get back on track if we took a wrong turn.  Thanks, Debbie!

Liberty Jail

Independence Visitor's Center

On Sunday, we went to church with my in-laws and said a fond farewell.  We rounded out our Sabbath by visiting the LDS Church sites of Liberty Jail and Independence.  Both were very positive, spiritual experiences.  At Liberty Jail, I contemplated the revelations of comfort and peace Joseph Smith received there amidst such a difficult time in his life, and reflected that these same versus bring comfort to so many of us going through the trials of life.

On Sunday night, we stayed in St. Louis, Missouri.  The next day, we visited the Thomas Jefferson memorial, more commonly known as the Arch or the Gateway to the West.

The Arch . . . It's shiny!

While we waited for our turn to ride a tram to the top of the arch, we looked around their underground Museum of the West and shops.  They had some interesting things, including a wide collection of gold medals that were used to trade with Indians and seal peace treaties.

Our "space pod"

The tram car we rode in to the top of the arch reminded me of an old 60s sci-fi space pod, with white plaster covering the inside and little seats for 5 people to cram into.  The only window looked out on the concrete center of the arch and all its many steps (we were glad we didn't have to climb those!).  The tram was designed a little like a Ferris Wheel to move up the curve of the arch.

Peeking out the window at the view.

At the top, a relatively small corridor was pretty crowded with visitors, all trying to get a peek at the ground far below through little windows lining both sides of the corridor.  Looking out was like looking out the window of an airplane.  As such, I had no fear of heights, even knowing I was up so far--I feel safe when I'm in a solid structure like that.

We ended our day by meeting up with my parents in Corydon, Indiana (they flew) in the midst of a rain storm.  It was so nice to see rain!  It ended up being the only time we had respite from the heat during my whole vacation.  Somehow, we managed to schedule this trip in the midst of record-breaking temperatures across the nation.  3-digit temps combined with humidity made me grateful for the relative "cool" of Utah when I got home!

Janelle was the entertainment committee!

A future beauty stylist in action.

My brother and his family live near Corydon, so the next day (July 3rd) we visited with them and celebrated my niece's 8th birthday with bubble guns, burritos, presents, and chocolate cake.

The birthday girl!

The Fourth of July celebrations in that area of Indiana are rather more relaxed than what I'm used to at home.  Since there was no parade, Janelle and I slept in late.  Then we had brunch at Cracker Barrel with our parents.  Later, Janelle and I caught a 3D matinee of Brave at the local theater.  That night, the big display of fireworks was cancelled, due to the drought they're having even in that part of the country.  So, we enjoyed a small fireworks display in the driveway, courtesy of my brother and his family.

I'm a big fan of caves, so one thing I wanted to do while in Indiana was to visit Marengo Cave, located not too far from our home base in Corydon.  Everyone else humored me by making an outing of it.

The cave visit was very popular that day, as so many other people were retreating underground to beat the heat.  We had to wait awhile in the crowded gift shop for our tour, which gave me plenty of opportunity to find souvenirs. ;-)

I love caves!

It was an awesome cave!  My favorite part was seeing the shallow pools that were so still they perfectly reflected the stalactites above, so it was almost like you were looking down into a lower chamber.  I'm always fascinated by caves.  I'll have to set one of my books in a cave someday.

Janelle and I with our "little" brother

Eating Superman (red and blue) ice cream

After caving, we stopped at a quaint country store, then ate dinner at a restaurant overlooking the Ohio River.  It's a little shocking to see the size of the rivers that far East--so much wider than the rough and tumble "streams" we're used to in the West.

Overlooking the Ohio River.

A local favorite shop.

On my final full day in Indiana, Janelle, my parents, and I did a little site-seeing in downtown Corydon.  It was the capital of Indiana for awhile in the early 1800s, so we saw a few historical things and some fun shops.

"Conversing" with Frank O'Bannon

That evening, Janelle and I went miniature golfing.  This has always been a favorite activity of mine, ever since my kid birthday parties at our local course.  This place was located right by our hotel and had a cool (as in not 100+ degrees) indoor blacklight course that was also very cool (as in awesome!).

Golfing in the Glow

It was some of the best black-lighting decor I've seen (not that I've seen a lot, but it was impressive).  They said local school kids painted it, under the direction of a professional artist.  It was all very clever and wonderful.  At the end of the course, I discovered a pair of 3D glasses and tried them on.  Parts of the paintings popped off the wall into the air!  I wished I'd had the glasses from the start.

It was hard to get a photo not blurred, but my hand reads "I won."  Oh, yeah!

We ended our day with a visit to a local icon hamburger joint.  Janelle parked her car in the driveway while we took pictures by the sign, so we were a bit embarrassed when a local had to drive around us.  She was laughing at the tourists who were so starved for entertainment they were photographing the White Castle sign. :-D

The Vanna Whites of White Castle

The next day, we spent the morning visiting my brother and his family, then I got a ride to the airport.  I regretted that I wasn't able to stay long enough for my niece's baptism on Sunday because I had a treatment on Monday morning.  But, thanks to that wonderful vacation, I felt ready to face chemo again.

I really had a wonderful time!  Janelle has more experience traveling, and started conversations with strangers we encountered.  That really helped me to come out of my shy shell a little and realize how many nice people there are in the world.

I loved seeing new things and finding wonder and delight in something every day.  It lifted me out of my slump and showed me that there is life beyond cancer.  I feel like my creativity well has been filled again after a long drought.

By the Mighty Mississippi

So, I give a heart-felt thanks to my sister for letting me crash her road trip and share the fun, and to all my other family for being so kind and generous and hospitable.  Finally, to my wonderful husband for being "Mr. Mom" at home and supporting me so much in this endeavor, as he does with everything in my life.  He is the most awesome husband any woman could have!  It was great to be home with my family again.

"We Have a Pill for That" or "The Side Effect Chain"

I successfully made it through another chemo treatment--and Steve didn't even have to use his rope (although he threatened).  My doctors--I have 2 now--were very interested in my struggle with side effects last time and gave me advice for how to use the right pills to counter them better.

I've said several times that I feel like a walking pharmacy.  I get these strong medicines that cause awful side effects (like nausea), so they give me pills to counter those side effects.  Guess what?  Those pills have side effects too!  (Like heartburn)  So, I need more pills to counter those side effects . . . and so on and so forth.  For someone who doesn't really like to take a lot of medicine, it's a dizzying Domino effect.

But I have to admit that I'm feeling better today after following the doctor's advice--taking my pills more often, adding a couple to my regime.  Hopefully, I can avoid some of the misery of last time.  And now I only have to do this twice more.  Hurray!

P.S.  I'll give a travelogue of my vacation in my next entry.  :-)